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"Well, I could convince him to change his mind, but it would be a lot of work," he said to me. I felt like he was teasing me in a way. "Oh," I said meekly, holding back tears. "I like you though, Emily. I just don't know if it's worth it to me to spend my time convincing the director to take a shot on you," he said. "But I'd really love this, I won't let you down," I stammered, holding back tears. Paul sighed and leaned back in his chair. I was hoping he'd pity me. "You really want this don't you?" He asked. "Yes, I'd do anything," I said without thinking. "Anything?" He said, grinning at me like a pervert. "Well, almost," I said, akwardly crossing my legs. I felt nervous about this. "I guess you have to ask yourself how much you want this," He said, in a threatening sort of way. My heart was pounding. This was probably my only chance at being famous. Making it worth it to Paul would mean giving up my dignity. It was a very tough decision for me. He grinned at me, taking joy in my. So much more. His words were always friendly and innocuous, but the fire that seemed to burn in his eyes occasionally came through. I knew he wanted me as a man wanted a woman. And I wanted him. I wanted to feel his dark, smooth skin. I wanted his hands upon me. I trembled as he once brushed his hand over my bottom as he squeezed past me one evening.Several times we managed to find hurried moments alone. His first kiss was so thrilling I could have given myself to him right then. I had never known a kiss went beyond the touching of lips. When he whispered that he loved me, my heart nearly stopped. I promised that very night to meet him outside of the village.Late that night I slipped out of my bed. Afraid even to breathe, I tiptoed to the doorway and slipped down the stairs. I hugged the wall to avoid the tread that I knew squeaked. Then I unbarred the top of the Dutch style doors and clambered out. I eased them closed behind me, hoping that no one would notice they were open before.
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